I was a little nervous about the long day on the road ahead of us leaving for Arkansas (about 12 hours including breaks). Isla hardly likes to be in the car for more than a few minutes sometimes. This time, however, we downloaded some shows that she likes and bought a headrest iPad holder, and let me tell you, that thing was a life saver! It really cut down on the amount of time that she fussed, which helped Ross and myself stay sane!
Our trip was going to consist of a lot of going out to eat, which also made me nervous since Isla really doesn’t like sitting still for long. Since we were on vacation and figured all rules were going out the window anyway as far as screen time, we decided to use the iPad during meals as well. I never thought that would be me as a parent, but here we are. She survived, we survived, and we’re all fine and adjusting to our normal routine now that we’re back home (no more iPad for a long time!)
When going on any sort of vacation with little children, it can be hard to find a balance when you’re wanting to enjoy your time as well while balancing tantrums and correcting wrong behavior constantly. Distractions can be helpful but also trying to make sure that your kids are doing plenty of things that are fun for them as well is what will make the time away more enjoyable. This is also coming from a mom of one child who is less than 2. I’m sure when there is a sibling in the picture and she’s a little older, I’ll have more hacks that’ll hopefully work even better!
Postpartum hair loss has been real for me. 15 months after Isla was born, I faced the truth—I needed to cut my hair…short. To be honest, I was a little nervous but mostly excited to embrace a new change! Nothing like postpartum hormones forcing me to get a new “do”!
My hair has been breaking off so bad, and I had my hair in either a ponytail or bun for months leading up to my hair cut. The length that my hair did have wasn’t even worth holding on to. It was thin and see-through, and severe breakage created some super short looking layers.
Outside of hormones, I’ve also considered that I need to increase my intake of nutrient dense foods that contain iron, zinc, and omega-3s, so I’ve added things like flax and chia seeds to my oatmeal in the morning, for example.
Everyone’s postpartum hair journey is different, and this has been eye opening for me. I wasn’t aware just how much the breakage and thinning out of my hair prevented me from feeling like I’m fully recovered from having a baby. I’m more accepting of where I’m at in my road to recovery, and I’m just going to embrace this shorter hairstyle for a while!
I was laying outside while Isla was napping today, and as I was feeling just so thankful to feel the sun on my face, I remembered how this time last year felt very different.
My husband and I moved 3 1/2 hours away from our family 6 weeks after our daughter was born for a job opportunity. We were nervous to move away but also excited that it allowed for me to be a stay at home mom. Our time away from family in Paducah, KY only last a couple months (for reasons that unfolded while we were there), but it was not a walk in the park at all. In fact, a walk in the park is literally all I wanted to be able to do. We lived in the second floor of an apartment building, and it was the middle of summer, so the days were extremely hot. We have a small dog, and she maybe went out once a day while Ross was at work. It was all I could do to scoop up Isla, put Ella on a leash, and walk down the steps to let Ella do her business as quickly as possible so I could run back into my apartment. Looking back, I can see just how fearful I was of everything. Our complex had a pool and we went there maybe twice. I thought that going to the pool was “getting out” and I’d be so proud of myself. Being a new mom in a new city was probably the hardest thing I’ve done. Isla was very fussy, I never drove anywhere because the car would get so hot from being outside, Isla would cry the entire 5 minute drive to get coffee, and nothing seemed worth it to me.
I remember Ross coming home one day, and I told him I hadn’t felt the sun in what felt like days. He was shocked and immediately encouraged me to go outside on a little walk while he stayed with Isla. Do you ever feel instant relief from stress when you walk outside and just absorb the sun? This summer, I’m allowing myself to feel those positive effects that being outside can give me and thanking God for those moments. I don’t take them for granted anymore! In the future if I have any more babies, I am going to take those moments, daily if possible, to go outside for a walk or even just to stand in the sunlight. And if any of you are a mom-to-be or have ever struggled with PPD, start with going outside and let someone watch your baby for a few minutes even, if you’re able. It’s not a cure-all, but it’s a start!
During my birthday weekend, we had Isla’s grandparents watch her not just once, but twice! That is rare for this momma! One time it was for a dinner date with just me and Ross, and the other time was for a double date with my sister and her husband.
My heart didn’t realize how badly I needed that! It was such a reset for me to leave Isla for a couple hours, knowing that she was having a blast, and spend some time with my husband with my undivided attention. I really hope to make this more of a routine! Even though I know there are people that would love to watch Isla, I feel like I have to be so selective as to when I use those “cards” so that I don’t wear anyone out. I know that’s not how people actually feel, but I can convince myself otherwise at times.
Not only do Ross and I need that time together, it’s also so healthy for Isla to have time away from me too! We struggle with getting her to stay in the nursery at church right now, and I’m hoping consistency and patience will help her to stay down there the whole time one day!
Right now I’ve only had Isla’s aunts and grandparents watch her, and I know the day is coming when I may need to hire a sitter to stay with her, so I’m wondering how you guys have helped your kids be ok with a sitter who isn’t family watch them?
My new tip for getting in date nights (or date days if your schedule allows!) is to put it on the calendar! Schedule that sitter or grandparent to watch your kids as much as weeks in advance if you can and let it be something that you really look forward to! Spontaneous date nights aren’t as guaranteed to happen, so be sure to plan ahead for those couple of hours of kid free time to reconnect as a couple.
So I’m a clean person and I take basic care of myself. But have you ever experienced times where you just seem to be falling apart and need to up your self-care game in order to keep up? Well, that’s been me for the last couple months. But I haven’t been investing the time or money in myself to fix those things that have been needing extra attention. It can be so hard for me to justify it sometimes!
My youngest sister texted me the other day saying, “take care of yourself.” And it kinda stuck in my head. Why is such a basic concept becoming more and more foreign? Needless to say, the theme of self-care was carried out during my birthday when I opened my presents from my sisters and got all kinds of fun shower/bath goodies. Ok guys-I’m getting the point!
But in all seriousness, I am getting the point. My random patches of eczema that I’ve never dealt with before, extreme thinning of the hair, painful razor bumps (change out your razors ladies), and exhaustion are wearing me down and keeping my mind occupied on those things instead of my husband, precious baby, and anything else that is more worth thinking about.
As moms, wives, sisters, daughters, and friends, we wear many hats! A lot of people need us throughout our day, and we can tend to forget that we can’t fire on all cylinders if the tank is drained. Self-care is not equivalent to selfishness and is a healthy practice to start if you haven’t already. You are worth the time and money to make sure you feel your best. After all, if you aren’t cared for, how can you care for others well? If someone hasn’t told you lately, well, “take care of yourself!”
You all, I’m realizing that the longer I am a mom, the more help I need! Over the weekend, Isla ran a low fever mixed with congestion. It just sounded like she could hardly breathe while laying down. She sounded so pitiful. I did everything I knew how to help relieve her discomfort. And it still wasn’t working. Night #2 of not being able to get any sleep made me lose my patience so much faster. I hate when that happens because I know Isla doesn’t want to be in her situation either and not being able to communicate clearly what’s bothering her makes it even more difficult.
As I was grumbling on my way to Isla’s room at 1:30 in the morning after hearing her cry for a few minutes through the monitor, Ross reminded me not to do anything out of anger. It was what I needed to remember that none of us are going to act our best when deprived of sleep. Before going into her room, I felt a patience come over me and I rocked her in my arms for 45 minutes as she fell back asleep for the rest of the night. She even slept in the next morning! Praise the Lord! These moments continue to remind me that in the thick of the hardest moments, remember that it’s only temporary. You’ll never regret those moments where you dug deep and prayed that the Lord would give you the strength to show unconditional love and kindness even when you’re sleep deprived.
I know I need to continue to lean on my husband for help when I’m feeling physically and mentally weak. Similarly, I want to rely on my fellow momma friends who go through the same things that I do! We may not all have the same triggers, but we all experience those moments where we feel like we’re about to snap. And I’ll be the first to say if you are ever in that moment, reach out please! Us moms need to stick together! My goal is to continue to have less and less of these moments lacking in love and patience, and I desire encouragement and accountability as well.
This week Isla and I were invited to join my friend Elise and her daughter Maddie at the zoo. My mother-in-law, Karla, and sister-in-law, Rachel, were able to join as well, and I’m so glad we went! Sometimes I need a push to get outside of my typical routine with Isla, and I’m always so glad I end up doing it.
The word “perfect” describes the whole experience. It wasn’t very busy, the weather was absolutely amazing, they gave us free Dippin’ Dots, and our kids had zero meltdowns and were happy the whole time.
There were many moments during the day where I just smiled and thought about how thankful I am to have these opportunities during the day with family and friends because I stay at home with my daughter. I realized how grateful I am to be able to make these precious memories every single day. My dreams of motherhood are being realized right before me, and I need to be present in every moment!
Isla is growing up so so fast. She amazes me with all that she picks up on constantly. And I am so excited to make outings like going to the zoo something we do more often.
Today I went in your room to check on you after having quiet time for about 15 minutes. I walked in and almost started to cry. All throughout the day you’re so busy exploring, walking, talking, eating, smiling, that you had me fooled into thinking that you were such a big girl. Part of that is because you are such a big girl. But when I walked into your room today and saw you sleeping so peacefully, I saw someone who is still just my baby girl. Please don’t grow up too fast. I love watching you learn and grow and figure out everything about this world, but we should not wish time away or want to speed up the process. During those moments where I watched you rest today, I wanted time to stand still. Next month we celebrate your first birthday and I am so excited.
You have a certain smile that you give when you are super proud of yourself. It is very distinct and it cracks me up every time I see it. I mostly see it when you learn new things like walking, figuring out where the Tylenol is so you can see if there’s any extra medicine to suck out of the syringe, and figuring out how to push a button on a toy to make it turn on. I love that smile because it’s yours, and I now understand when other parents who have given me wisdom before you were born say that time goes by so fast and to enjoy each moment because in the blink of an eye they will be all grown, and for me, I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I probably won’t ever be ready for that. But please always give me that smile to reassure me that it’s just part of life, and I need to put on my happy smile too because I am so so proud of you and I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Written March 27, 2019
A couple of months ago, we took Isla to get her eyes looked at because her right eye kept turning in and was getting worse as time went on. We were hoping it’d correct itself sooner than later, but we are glad we ended up getting it checked out because she does indeed need glasses! I wasn’t expecting to hear that she needed them right away, but boy did it make a difference.
Glasses aren’t cheap! We paid just under $200 for Isla’s, so we were really hoping she wouldn’t pull them off constantly and would learn to enjoy wearing them because she could actually see better. And that’s what happened! She’ll tug at them here and there when she’s tired, as to be expected, but for as many hours a day that she does keep them on, I couldn’t be happier.
There aren’t many options at all from what I’ve seen for baby glasses. Her face is still just too small for anything other than Miraflex glasses. I will say that they do offer a couple of different frame shapes and enough color options that I stared at them all for 10 minutes before finally making a decision. I’m overall super pleased with our experience with these glasses and would recommend them for any of your kiddos.
If any of your little ones wear glasses, please share your pictures with me! Isla has always made friends with strangers in public, and her sweet new frames draw people in even more, and it’s so awesome to see the smiles she puts on so many faces.
I had lunch with my mom today. Before I go further, I want to encourage those of you who have the opportunity, to go grab some lunch with your mom in the near future. It will be good for the soul.
I brought Isla with me, so we had about as deep and meaningful conversation as you can have with a busy 11 month old, but in between those welcomed disruptions, was an exchange of life-giving words. I prayed on my way to lunch with my mom that my words and conversation would be of importance, spiritual value, and encouragement.
At some point, there is some sort of shift where you are not so much a dependent, needy child but instead more of a peer of sorts with your parent. Meaning, we can offer one another advice in many areas of life and share wisdom that we have gained with them if they are willing to listen. For parents, this may feel uncomfortable at first, but I think it can be so healthy as we go through different seasons of life. My mom has been in a stressful point in her life for a few years now as her academic career has brought her so close to the finish line in graduating to become a nurse anesthetist. She still has a couple of months left to go, and for her, and all of us really, the end couldn’t get here fast enough. Despite the endless homework and long clinical hours can lie true energizing moments. That amazing conversation with the patient before going under for a surgery, the constructive criticism from your boss helping you know how to improve, and the discipleship amongst your peers in school, give opportunities for my mom to make lasting impacts among all of these she interacts with. For you, this may look very different with what you have going on in your daily lives, but fellow moms, seize each moment with grace given from above.
My mom has endured so much throughout her entire lifetime. She is stronger than she knows, and I hope I can be there for her the way she has walked alongside me in my life. She may be in a stressful place right now, but she has been through so much already, and I’m excited to see how she uses daily moments to allow Christ to bring life in every circumstance.