Tag: growing family
Don’t Neglect Your Calling
It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. Knowing I wanted to write about something currently going on in my life and make a family update, I thought maybe I should write about how we had a precious baby boy born in June this year. And while I want to write about that soon, my heart has been feeling burdened for the family unit and God’s masterful design within it.
Kids are amazing and a head-scratching phenomenon. They are such sponges and unpredictable. I think I know what I’m doing as a mom one moment and the next I’m at my wit’s end with trying to understand the toddler psyche. However challenging being a parent can be, we must not neglect the incredible call we have to raise up the next generation of Christ followers who have been instructed in biblical truth no matter how unpopular it may be to the world. It must not be watered down with cultural trends or even added to in order to keep up with the changing times. My friends, armor up with the full armor or God because the day is coming when our kids will be put to the test. This attention to not miss the main point when raising our kids is also a call to reflect on ourselves and how well we have been clinging to the truth of the gospel to get through each and every day. To ask ourselves how well have we been loving our neighbor? Do I fully believe that sin separates us from God and that death in the form of sacrifice was required? That my debt was paid when the perfect and spotless Lamb of God, Word became flesh, JESUS, became human to be born of a virgin and live a life in submission and obedience to the Father and die on the cross? That He rose again defeating since and death and that this most perfect gift is offered freely to myself and to you? And to our children?
Do we live like our children will also one day stand before God? Do we live like we care whether or not they have died to their former self and put on Christ so that when God looks at them, He sees his perfect Son with whom He is pleased? I feel like my thoughts are too much to unpack without writing a novel, but I want to truly encourage you in this—your children need you to tell them the TRUTH. We need to love them by living out the gospel displayed in word and deed. It’s not easy. But it’s so worth it. The alternative leads to destruction. Do not be swept away by the deceitfulness this world brings. Satan would love nothing more than to see generations brought up to be weak and confused. I can say this for certain, he CANNOT and WILL NOT have my children.
Kids come into the world needing their parents for everything. This includes telling them about their Creator and Savior. Let’s make this the priority of the home. Join hands with your spouse and decide today that everyday will be an opportunity to present the gospel. Pray about the things God may reveal you need to rid your house of that are harmful distractions. And be watchful. Jesus is returning for His church!
Experiencing Loss through Miscarriage
I’m writing about this because I need an outlet to process it all, but I’m also finding that so many others have walked through this as well. I wanted to open the door of communication for those who want to talk about it or simply say “you’re not alone.”
January 18, 2021 I took a pregnancy test assuming I was wasting a few dollars because I figured it’d be negative. However, I wanted to check just to be sure. I had those thoughts in the back of my mind telling me to check, so I mostly took the test to quiet those thoughts. I was shocked to see the positive test! My youngest daughter was 9 months at the time, and physically I just didn’t know I could get pregnant yet. I was in shock. I already loved that baby so much the moment I knew I was pregnant of course, but logistically, I was processing how my husband and I would handle 3 kids 3 and under.
We had barely begun to share with our immediate family members the news. On a Thursday night and about 4 weeks pregnant, I was at dinner with my sisters when I shared the news and watched them share in my excitement. The next morning, I started to bleed a little. My mind started racing, but after I called the doctor’s office, I felt a little better. They said it can be normal but if it continues to come in so they can check everything. By lunch the bleeding was significantly worse and my anxiety was through the roof. I didn’t feel prepared to know how to process this emotionally. My body had started processing something physically and I felt so out of control. Should I be making peace with what’s happening? I’ll spare you the details, but there are some things that can happen that just trigger a response in your head to think that something is not right. I wanted to pray for life and that the baby was holding on, but my brain kept telling me to say goodbye to this precious baby because they are going to be with Jesus before I have the opportunity to hold them in my arms. The nurse practitioner at the doctor’s office agreed that something was going on that indicated something abnormal with the pregnancy. We took a blood test to measure my HCG level (pregnancy hormone) to have a baseline to compare future blood tests to. This happened on a Friday, so I had to wait all weekend to find out the results on Monday. My numbers looked good—441–which corresponded with being about 4 weeks pregnant. They wanted me to come back in to measure again. I froze and felt numb when I saw the number—38. The number was dropping and dropping fast. My worst nightmare was coming true. My husband stayed home from work the rest of the day and we were just present with each other. Though I wasn’t very far along, there had already been so much discussion and planning around this new life, and my oldest daughter loved reminding me that mommy has a baby in her belly. It was so hard to tell her that baby is with Jesus and no longer in my belly.
Those couple weeks were the most difficult for me yet. My testimony through this valley has been that Jesus holds that sweet baby and that they are eternally in His presence. I will miss this baby so much but I look forward to standing next to them praising our Creator for all eternity one day. Mommy loves you little one.
My Experience Having a Baby During a Global Pandemic
On April 5, 2020, our family welcomed our precious Remington Palmer, who weighed 6lbs 2oz and is absolute perfection. She is adored by her older sister Isla, and we are so happy to all be home and healthy. Remi ended up being born via a scheduled C-section for a few reasons. The main one is that I previously had an emergency C-section with Isla, and since I hadn’t started showing any signs of going into labor by 39 weeks, we decided to play it safe with another C-section. On top of that, we weren’t sure how our hospital’s restrictions were going to look even another week out with positive cases of coronavirus being on the rise. We are so thankful that even though we weren’t able to have any visitors, my husband was able to be there the whole time.
Besides the surgery going smoothly, everything else about our experience just seemed strange. Anyone who came into our room wore a mask (thankfully we didn’t have to wear a mask in our room), and if we wanted to leave our room, we had to put a mask on. The hallway lights always seemed dim since there weren’t people walking around requiring it to be well lit. At one point, Remi was the only baby on our floor. It felt lonely not having our family and friends come and love on us and our new baby. In fact, 2.5 weeks after she’s been born, our families still haven’t held her. We’ve been trying to take this quarantine seriously, but at some point we also want our parents and siblings to hold her.
Sometimes we get visitors that come to see her through the glass in our front door, but it’s not the same as when people can come sit on our couch and visit for a while. We just miss the community feel of having everyone come around us when a baby is born. There is so much to be thankful for though. This isn’t me just complaining—I really am overall just trying to explain how our experience has been because of everything going on. I look so forward to being on the other side of this quarantine. Because my husband has been working from home, it’s also allowed for a sort of extended paternal leave for him as he’s been able to help out more than if he had to go back to work.
I hope that others who have given birth during this pandemic have still had pleasant experiences despite the many restrictions they may face. What matters is that the babies are safe and healthy. We will get through this together!
Last Pregnancy Update!
Before baby girl arrives in April, I thought I’d get one last pregnancy update out before I forget. Especially considering these peculiar times, I want to be able to look back and remember all that was going on surrounding the time that our Remington Palmer was born.
As I’m writing this, I am almost 37 weeks pregnant, and am going on a full week of isolation at home, due to recommended social distancing because of the Coronavirus. At my appointment today, my doctor said only my husband will be allowed in the hospital during our stay when Remi is born. It’s so strange to think that we won’t be able to have family and friends come and go to visit with us and meet our new baby when she is born. When Isla was born, we looked forward to having visitors and even Starbucks and other food brought in. This time, however, that will not be the case. Everyone will have to wait and meet her when we get home, and even those visits are going to have to be spread out.
I am thankful for the time Ross and I will have to bond with our baby before coming home, but gosh I’m going to miss Isla, and I’ll be so excited to introduce her to her little sister!
My goal right now is to stay healthy. I’m not leaving the house much at all. Going to the doctor today was my first public outing in a week, and it was almost eerie seeing all the steps that had been taken within a short amount of time to try and combat the spread of this virus. I also want my husband to stay healthy so that he can be with me when we welcome Remi into the world.
At this time, I haven’t started dilating. I’m taking it all a day at a time, but I am getting so excited, it’s hard to stay patient!
The next post I write may be a while from now, but when I do, I will have 2 children. That thought is so wild! I have been loving my time with Isla during these last couple weeks of my pregnancy as I know that things will be very different here soon. She’s still my baby no matter what, and I love and value the sweet relationship that we have.
I’m so excited to post photos of our daughter when she arrives!!
Striving For Clean
The other day on Instagram, I asked what were favorite clean brands and products that people like to use. I was so surprised by the response! So many people reached out to not only share what their favorite clean products were but offered to be of assistance along my journey to slowly remove toxic products from my home.
I don’t know what exactly prompted me to start looking into the world of toxin-free, but it can be overwhelming to say the least! All I know is, I have one body and I need to care for it and take responsibility for what I expose myself and my children to. I’m ok with this being a journey that takes me a long time because I want to do it the right way, and it can be a little bit more expensive, especially starting out. My hope is to do an updated post in a couple months reviewing my favorite clean substitutions that I have made. The categories I’m looking to change span the spectrum from makeup, to skincare, household cleaners, bath and body, etc.
I know there is endless information to absorb within this topic, and while I may never become an expert, I am thankful to have access to so many options! There are so many companies that are transparent with their ingredients and their desire to not only offer cleaner options, but also options that are still going to perform! I think that was always my fear with going clean—that I’d end up spending more for something that didn’t do the job as well as their more toxic counterpart.
I’m so excited for my first purchase, which is kind of silly, but it’s toothpaste! We needed more anyway, so I thought this was a perfect time to test out a new, cleaner option. I ordered it on Amazon (thank goodness for 1 day shipping!) and it comes in today. My next goal is to switch from an antiperspirant to a natural deodorant.
A helpful resource for me to start this journey has been the Think Dirty App. This is a simple tool to search a general product or brand to see how “clean” it rates according to the ingredients that are listed. While not every brand can be found on this app yet, it still has many to look up, and I’m sure they’ll only continue to add to what is currently available.
As a mom especially, I want to set an example for my girls that mindful shopping is so important. Just because it’s FDA approved doesn’t mean we should trust it. Just like I want them to be careful and intentional about what goes into their mind and heart and comes out of their mouth, I want them to be careful about how they care for their physical body as well. Let’s take this journey together! If there are any products you recommend, pass it along my way, and I’ll be sure to do the same as I have had time to test out my purchases.
Second Trimester Recap
I can honestly not even believe that I am in the final stretch of this pregnancy! I remember thinking the second trimester lasted forever with my firstborn. The second time around, this whole pregnancy is flying, and I wonder if it mostly has to do with the fact that I keep myself busy chasing a toddler around all the time and can’t just sit around staring at my pregnancy apps, while slowly watching time crawl by (I may or may not have done this when I was pregnant with Isla).
As mentioned already, the second trimester was a blur, but I’m going to do my best to recap what all I did/did not experience.
1. No Crazy Cravings
Along with the first trimester, I have not had any specific cravings that are out of my normal preferences. I will say that my appetite has increased, however, and I’m seeing that reflect on the scale! (I’ll talk more about that later)
2. Constantly Exhausted
I remember hearing that the second trimester is the golden trimester, as this is usually when women feel like a million bucks and get all their energy back that was zapped from them during the first trimester. Nope, not for me. I still wake up each morning super excited to take my nap as soon as I put my daughter down for her nap. This has effected my exercise as well. I still workout about 3 days a week, but those workouts are definitely nothing to brag about. However, I’m doing my best to stay moving and go on walks when the weather is nice enough.
3. Weight Gain
When I was pregnant with Isla, I gained about 22 lbs or so, if I remember correctly. I’m hoping to stick within that same number this time around, but it feels as though it has been packing on quickly lately! During the second trimester I gained about 8 lbs, for a total of about 13 lbs. I know I’m within a healthy range of weight gain, but it’s important for me to maintain my healthy lifestyle while pregnant so that I can bounce back easier after baby.
4. Troll Status
My husband thinks I’m crazy any time I compare my appearance to that of a troll, but I can’t help but think I’m onto something. I didn’t bother to buy myself any news clothes during the second trimester because I was in that “in between” phase where you can still kinda fit in your regular clothes, and some maternity clothes still don’t fit quite right. Regardless, that meant that most days I stayed in my comfy clothes if I wasn’t leaving the house, and elastic waistbands and no bras were my best friend. My husband was lucky if I did my hair or makeup. Poor guy, I know this isn’t going to get any better after I have the baby. Maybe in 5 years I’ll try a little harder (I kid! sorta..) I’m not one that feels particularly beautiful while pregnant. I know I’m growing a human, and that’s such a miraculous blessing, but I can’t wrap my head about the mental state of all the physical changes I’m going through. I’m going to make an effort during this final stretch of my pregnancy to see myself the way I know my husband does.
Overall, I am sure I’m forgetting quite a few things, but that’s what I get for not taking any notes during the second trimester! I really am just so excited to meet my daughter in a few short months. That is what makes any pregnancy symptom or physical change totally worth it. It’s not all glamorous, but it is such a gift, and one that I want to always remember to be so thankful and grateful for.
Thanks for reading, and go hug on your precious kids!!
Don’t Sweat the Clingy Phase
I’m speaking to myself on this one, but I’ve also been learning a lot about how to navigate this phase, and I’ve picked up on some really helpful tips! I can only speak for myself based on my experience, but I feel that being a SAHM has contributed to Isla’s tight circle of people that she trusts. Her separation anxiety has been pretty constant since she was a couple months old. For us, this looks like her not wanting to be in the nursery at church without me in there. Or even when we’re out and about in public, if she had wondered too far (even still in the same room), she’ll start to cry and rush back over to me. At the same time, she loves people and is super friendly. She just so happens to want me around probably 95% of the time. I’m so thankful she also loves being with grandparents because that can be a lifesaver for when this mom needs a break! Anyway, here are some things I’ve learned from my experience along the way with having a child that has separation anxiety:
- Pray- I’m not saying this to be funny or cliché either. I’ve found myself having terrible dreams the night before an event where I know I’ll be putting Isla in childcare for a couple hours. In these dreams, Isla is miserable the whole time, and it makes me super uncomfortable because I hate pushing her into situations like that as her mom, the one she should be able to trust 100%. In reality, these are not just bad dreams though. This is real life. When she can be so miserable apart from me, the anxiety can run high. So one night as I was putting Isla to bed, I prayed with her about the upcoming day where she would need to be in childcare, asking God to help us both not to be nervous. But that if she did have a hard time and I needed to come get her, that I wouldn’t be worried or stressed about it. And that night, I felt as though I truly had given all my fears to the Lord. I slept well, and Isla even lasted the whole time with another caretaker the next day! I’m not counting on that being our new normal, but I’m grateful to have had the peace going into it. That was what changed my perspective the most.
- Don’t worry about establishing super high expectations- I used to create these ideal expectations and scenarios in my head where Isla loved going into the nursery by herself at church. And every time that didn’t happen, I’d find myself more and more discouraged. Finally, I decided to toss my currently unreachable expectations and be a little more flexible and relaxed.
- Keep trying- Even though I may not have those high expectations right now, it doesn’t keep me from trying. I still put Isla in the nursery at church each week, and in childcare for my MOPS meeting each month.
- Create opportunities as consistent as you can for them to be around other caretakers- My last point leads me into this next one, which is similar but adds an extra step. Along with your normal routine, be creative in thinking of ways to incorporate new opportunities for your child to experience being under the care of others. An easy way to start is by introducing one new person and having them watch your child often. I’ve found this to help Isla. She’s never been one to click right away with someone and trust them, but if she’s given the opportunity to build a relationship with them, we’re more likely to find success. And start within your home if you’re able. Having someone care for your child within their own comfort zone can be super helpful for the child as well.
- Enjoy-They’ll grow out of this before you know it! It will definitely get better in time. It may not be today, but being anxious about it definitely won’t help, so don’t stress! This can be the hardest tip to implement, especially all the time, but is crucial in getting through it with joy.
I’m grateful for my daughter teaching me so much beyond just how to parent. A lot of my flaws have become painfully clear to me since becoming a mom, but through realizing them I’m also seeing that there are always ways to improve.
Creating Heathy Routines and Habits
This can be a big topic, and there really is a lot to tackle here, but we’re going to do our best to walk through some different thoughts. Hopefully, you’ll be able to pick up on some ideas and begin incorporating them with your family!
First of all, I’d define a healthy routine as something that you want your family to participate in on an almost daily, if not daily, basis. To not do these things would be unhealthy habits. Let’s talk through some practical steps:
1. Make these daily habits consistent
When teaching your kids the importance of creating and repeating healthy habits, these need to be things that apply to them often. For example, after we finish eating, we always pick up our dishes. Or every night before bed, we brush our teeth. Some things don’t have to be chore related, but can still be a good habit to instill like reading a certain amount every day (maybe even before screen time).
2. Say what you are doing and why
My 19 month old has already picked up on the fact that we pick up after ourselves because it’s a mess, and messes get picked up. It’s a simple concept but helps her to understand the reasoning behind picking up our toys, cleaning our hands after eating, etc. It also helps our children to understand that it’s a way of taking care of the things that we have. That is a bigger lesson that’ll continue to be developed as they get older, but is a good one to get started on now! Another example would be explaining that we read the Bible every day so we can know more about God. My daughter loves reading books already, which is great, but I also want her to understand why we prioritize reading this specific book every day.
3. Keep at it even if the concept seems lost on them
Don’t be afraid to stay consistent even if it seems like it’s not catching on at first or that they may be too young. If my 19 month old can say “Grinch” first thing when she wakes up and all throughout the day because she wants to watch it all the time, then I think she can pick up on “time to pray before bed” or “let’s pick up our mess before we move on to another activity.” Hearing the same message over and over is one way they learn!
4. Make sure some of these healthy habits are enjoyable
Hopefully, all of the daily habits you want for your family are always enjoyable for everyone! But the reality is, that may not always be the case. That is why I feel it’s important to make sure that many of the healthy habits are things that your kids look forward to throughout the day. If we’re lucky, these habits will become some of their favorite things to incorporate. Examples of this for me would be that Isla loves bath time, so I make sure she is getting in a bath at least every other day, if not more (she’s been asking for one on a daily basis lately). She also enjoys helping me unload the clean dishes out of the dishwasher, put clean clothes on each morning, and eat fresh fruit. Because she enjoys these things, I try to make sure I’m making an effort to see that these happen often. As our kids grow up, the list of things that they will need to accomplish will only continue to lengthen. My hope is that I can facilitate a healthy and fun atmosphere around daily habits.
Overall momma, what do you want your home to be centered around? Daily habits that I have for my home may not be the things that you prioritize in yours, and that’s totally OK! Just be sure that you have identified those things that are important to you and your family, and stay consistent. It’s amazing how quickly kids pick up on bad habits and routines. If we are on a road trip and let Isla watch the iPad while traveling, she’ll expect it to still be there when we get back home and aren’t traveling long distances anymore. This habit that’s been established within a couple days takes at least that long to undo. Consider that it’ll take some time when setting up healthy routines if you are also trying to break a few bad ones at the same time as well. I’ll end with this thought–do you want to encourage helpfulness, imagination, and creativity? Shut down the screen time after a certain amount of time and explain why. It can be easy to redirect their focus if a different activity is still engaging them, even if it’s just you doing the engaging! We have the responsibility of raising up these young ones that have been entrusted to us. Hang tight and reach out to other moms for support if you are feeling overwhelmed with instilling any habits that are going to be healthy for your home because it is worth it and you can do it!
I’m Grateful For…
The role and task of teaching my children how to behave and know what is expected of them as participating members of the household. I want my kids to feel they are just as much a part of the family without thinking that they are in charge. That is my role along with my husband, and we want to take it seriously because we love them so much!
Countdown to Thanksgiving…I’m Grateful For A Good Report
This week was our 20 week doctor appointment for little Remi! My husband was able to go with me, and we were so excited to be able to see her on the ultrasound. As when I was pregnant with Isla, however, there are many things that they check for during the ultrasound that I forget to even think about.
I went into our appointment thinking that everything was going to be fine and that we’d be able to see the little fingers and toes that are developing. It could be naivety on my part, but I always just assume that everything is going to be fine. During the ultrasound, the tech started pointing out different things like the 4 chambers in her heart, the fact she has 2 kidneys, her brain, diaphragm, and on and on…all the things that Remi will need to thrive once she is born but things that I forget she needs! It brought a tear to my eye during that ultrasound to just pause and be so thankful that our baby girl has all the parts she needs to continue to grow and develop the way she’s supposed to. It never is a guarantee that a pregnancy or baby is going to 100% smooth sailing and healthy. I am so thankful and blessed for the good report about our precious baby girl! Even if everything wasn’t as it should be, God is so good and faithful. He deserves all glory and praise all of the time.
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