TAYLOR – Page 4

Apologizing to my Daughter

Published on November 27, 2018April 9, 2019 by Taylor SchaeLeave a comment

The other day was not my best by far. I was tired, short-tempered, and easily irritable. Most days I feel like this, but I have been working on really trying to change my outlook and attitude when feeling that way so that I can be the best wife and mom to my family. However, Isla was super fussy so I thought I’d go ahead and give her a bottle. When sitting her on my lap, she started bucking and crying. My short fuse was lit and I said, “shut up, shut up!” Ross heard me say this and reminded me that we don’t talk that way towards or in front of her, even if she is 7 months old and doesn’t know what we are saying yet. I know that is true, and I immediately wanted to take back the words that were said, but I couldn’t. What I could do though was apologize. A little while later, it was her nap time, and I decided to lay in my bed with her. We were staring at each other, and I was overcome again with regret that I let my temper snap in front of my sweet daughter who had done nothing wrong. I verbally told her I was sorry for telling her to shut up, and that may seem unnecessary because she doesn’t understand, but it’s good practice for me. I want to be so quick to apologize because I know that I can best get back to mending a relationship after wronging someone after doing so.

I know that I will have a lifetime of apologies to give, and that’s ok! I want to model for Isla what it looks like to desire such a close relationship with her that I don’t want another minute to go by before I do my part to let her know I am sorry and that I don’t want to go on continuing to act that way towards her.

The Truth Behind the Photo

Published on November 3, 2018April 9, 2019 by Taylor SchaeLeave a comment

It wouldn’t seem like there should be a story behind this photo besides that it looks like I’m enjoying time on a hammock while my daughter takes a nap. While that was the case, the events leading up to this picture were enough to stress me out for a long time.

This picture was taken about an hour and a half after getting to a lake house that my husband and I were going to be at with his family for the weekend. At the time, Ross and I lived over 3 hours away from our family and hadn’t seen them in about 4 weeks. When we arrived, everyone was so excited to see Isla and wanted to hold her. This is when the story takes a turn. She started screaming her head off and crying so hard that nothing was soothing her. I tried feeding her, putting her to sleep, walking around with her, EVERYTHING. After this went on for what feels like the whole evening, I finally sat in the hammock and while we rocked. Her sobbing finally turned into a softer cry and then she eventually wore herself out and fell asleep.

When this picture was taken, I was so glad she finally calmed down, but I was also so worried as to what was going on and if my daughter was ever going to be chill around other people, especially family members, since I am the one she is around 24/7.

I never posted this photo on social media, but if I had, people wouldn’t have thought that I was struggling in that moment to know what was best for my daughter and that I needed to be in a better head space. I want to be more transparent in how I portray my motherhood journey and not just post pictures that only show the highlights. In the beginning of motherhood, it didn’t take much to overwhelm me. I knew that Isla wasn’t super easy going, and it prevented me from letting other people help.

If that’s how you’re feeling, I’ve been there and am still there! I don’t have it all together, but we can come together mommas and encourage one another that it’s all going to be ok!

Mom Blues

Published on October 29, 2018April 9, 2019 by Taylor SchaeLeave a comment

It’s a real thing for so many moms out there, and occasionally I let it get the best of me. I didn’t really get postpartum depression, but ever since becoming a mom 6 months ago, I’ve had my moments, and even days, where I feel overwhelmed and sad. These blues normally rear its ugly head more after Isla has had a couple rough nights in a row where she woke up about once every hour, leaving me exhausted and short tempered. I hate that I let lack of sleep affect me this way. I’m also more prone to be sad when I compare my daughter to the progress of other mom’s kids that I see talking about how well their kids sleep at night, how happy they always are, or all their new milestones that they are achieving. I’m supposed to be so happy for these moms and how awesome their kids are, but instead I’m feeling sorry for myself!

My husband is a saint you guys. He is my best friend and partner in this whole parenting adventure. When I’m feeling outside of my body in a sea of sadness, he reminds me that there is no set normal for every child. When Isla is being so friendly and happy, what a blessing! When she is being fussy and only wants mom or dad to hold her, what a blessing! When she hardly slept the night before, what a blessing! There are always reminders that our daughter is a wonderful gift that God entrusted us with. We have the honor and adventure of navigating her big personality and ups and downs that she experiences during the day.

Now this is not to say that if you have postpartum depression that you need to just change your perspective–that is something very different, and you definitely should seek help if that is what you are experiencing. In the same breath, it’s also ok to seek help if you feel like you need just a change in attitude or perspective. I feel like I need this on a daily basis. And 6 months later, I’m still working on making this a daily routine of embracing the dark under eye circles and thinning and brittle postpartum hair that are reminders that I have a beautiful and vibrant baby girl that I love with my entire being!

Here We Go!

Published on October 24, 2018April 9, 2019 by Taylor SchaeLeave a comment

Thanks for joining me! My name is Taylor Heinz. I married the man of my dreams, Ross, on December 14, 2013, and this year, on April 17th, our first child Isla Nicole was born. Our lives have been changed for the better ever since! Becoming a mom has been such an adventure, and I’ve been writing down all the different things I experience along the way, so I decided to start a mommy blog to see if I can connect with other moms that might be going through something similar or are just needing encouragement to know you’re not alone! Please comment and share your mommy stories, and thanks for stopping by!

Isla Nicole Heinz 4.17.18