Today I went in your room to check on you after having quiet time for about 15 minutes. I walked in and almost started to cry. All throughout the day you’re so busy exploring, walking, talking, eating, smiling, that you had me fooled into thinking that you were such a big girl. Part of that is because you are such a big girl. But when I walked into your room today and saw you sleeping so peacefully, I saw someone who is still just my baby girl. Please don’t grow up too fast. I love watching you learn and grow and figure out everything about this world, but we should not wish time away or want to speed up the process. During those moments where I watched you rest today, I wanted time to stand still. Next month we celebrate your first birthday and I am so excited.

You have a certain smile that you give when you are super proud of yourself. It is very distinct and it cracks me up every time I see it. I mostly see it when you learn new things like walking, figuring out where the Tylenol is so you can see if there’s any extra medicine to suck out of the syringe, and figuring out how to push a button on a toy to make it turn on. I love that smile because it’s yours, and I now understand when other parents who have given me wisdom before you were born say that time goes by so fast and to enjoy each moment because in the blink of an eye they will be all grown, and for me, I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I probably won’t ever be ready for that. But please always give me that smile to reassure me that it’s just part of life, and I need to put on my happy smile too because I am so so proud of you and I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Written March 27, 2019